The Day After Our First Showing

The last three days were not something I expected. And now after the excitement has left, I'm truly awestruck.

I've been in a few adoption support groups online, so I've heard the ups and downs and braced myself. Trying to learn the good, bad and ugly about and know what trials come with adoption. It isn't just a baby factory, although my kids might think there is a store we go pick a child up at. They are learning too.

Monday (from my last post), we had two and a half  hours to decide if we wanted to show our book for the first time. I was a little frantic, researching a few things that we knew about the situation. I even called my pediatrician to ask a few questions... They were as good as goggle. And we let it all go, gave it to God and said "yes".

The next couple days were crazy, as I only had one thing on my mind but had to still keep functioning... And we got the word that we were not chosen.

I literally sat down on my bed to let myself pour out my feelings and tears. But nothing. As I talked to myself, "okay, are you sure?" I took a deep breath and got up. I surprised myself. But I didn't know why right away. I was and am truly blessed by knowing about this situation, the vulnerability of the situation, and  praying for the family.

We started on with our day and within hours got ANOTHER situation! I started to read TWINS! And my eyes got huge, but we were not a match with that family. I had a little trouble with emailing our case worker back, so Kirk did it for me. It's hard  knowing that high, knowing two children we could be a match for, at the same time and knowing the situations we can handle.

So today we are back to square one and I'm itching to have that excitement back. I'm sure it's different for someone who might not have kids already in the home. The let down is probably harder. But I assume as time goes by, it might get harder for us as well.

Just thought I'd give more insight to the inner brain. Sometimes I even surprise myself. It was really cool... I wanna do it again! (With a prospectively different outcome)