From my last post in June to our adoption home study becoming expired in November, it was really hard. It was a count down that I didn't want to end. I had asked God why we were getting to this point? Why would he ask us to get here and have more heart ache? One of the most hardest times from me is when the kids went back to school in August. But then I started working more and keeping busy between that and school volunteering.
Talking about our home study expiring... from the beginning, we knew that there needed to be some type of timeline for ourselves. We were on an emotional roller coaster for 5 years from start to finish. So it was how long we could put that emotion into the adoption before we decided to move forward with life. Turn a page and leave the past in the past. Then there was also the financial aspect. Each home study renewal cost another $350 to the agency, $170 for finger printing, $60 for CPR training, and then the doctors appt with drug testing etc. (whatever that costs) and it was time to update our profile books at about $100.
So the week before Thanksgiving, when our home study was due to expire, we got one "last" profile. This was it. I was already starting to delete things from my computer, like pinterest boards, links to learn how to raise a person of color, anything to do with baby stuff, even my "Kendall" board. I had been preparing for "calling it quits" for a few months. I think my most "down in the dumps" was sometime in August 2015. Many friends saw me cry. I was having some quiet time in the rocking chair on my front porch, when a friend drove up and I burst into tears when she asked me what was wrong. She without hesitation, prayed over me from her car window while I had my head down on it.
We knew, while we waited for this last profile, that our case worker wanted to talk with us. But Kirk and I both were saying to each other, "She knows we are done, what else could she tell us? What's the point. What words of sympathy could she say to make us feel better?" By this time, I had already heard the Lord in a quiet time say "I love you and I hear you". But I was also giving Him back, "Why have we come to this place?" I did know and feel comfortable with the fact that God had asked this from us, and even if it wasn't during our timeline, He'd work it one day. I just didn't like not knowing when "one day" would be.
Our case worker called the day we found out we weren't picked for our "last" profile. She was actually the one to tell me over the phone, but that wasn't why she was calling. She wanted to let us know that we had become #2 on the "longest waiting family" list. We knew we were already #1 from the year before for an African American child. This list was for all children, meaning that the person ahead of us was not open to AA. She also said the following year had 8 agency placements and to that date last year, there had been 3. Not saying the word "guarantee", that was what she was telling us if we renewed for the next year, but still with a chance that might not happen. I told her I would talk with Kirk and get back to her. We slept on it.
This was the week before Thanksgiving still. Kirk's dad was in the hospital till the day after Thanksgiving. People were coming to our house that week. WIth everything going on, when we decided to go ahead with our renewal, we didn't announce anything. Some people had asked how we were doing, so they found out. Some friends knew because I had asked for a Shutterfly coupon code that week, to buy new books.
The phone call with our case worker was on a Friday (Nov. 18th)... by Tuesday (21st) we had a CPR training class. We could have had our drug testing on Wednesday, but I had a small window to drag everyone out of the house during a holiday week, so we scheduled it the following week. That Saturday (26th) we had all our finger printing and background checks complete. And within three weeks, we had our case worker come out to the house. We couldn't waste anytime, or they would have had to put us on "hold" till we were in the process, since we did expire on he 25th,
We did receive one more profile in the meantime on December 13th, although our case worker was not finished with our home study. We were not chosen for that one. We knew she was looking for someone who could not have children biologically.
December 19th rolled around and we were told about a baby boy born December 17th. We said yes to show our profile. Under the circumstances that a mother didn't want to choose a family (we didn't know this yet), BCS was going to pick the longest waiting family. Knowing that this boy was African American, we were top of the list. His birth mom could have come back to choose or parent, so the time frame with 10 days. We didn't get our hopes up... it was now Christmas break and we didn't tell anyone till day 8. I received an email that told us to be "cautiously optimistic" and prepared. And on day 10, we knew we'd get a phone call after 5:00pm.
Day 8, December 27th, my mom came over and I was starting to frantically get the nursery ready. I think this was the day we told the big kids. I had mentioned it to Kristen before Christmas, just as a heads up, but nothing final. They were both very excited!
Day 9, December 28th, we went to help Kirk's dad clean up his larger yard, since he couldn't do it after his hospital stay. "Oh by the way" conversation happened. They didn't know we had renewed up until this point. And we had gotten an email that our case worker was frantically and finally done with our home study, as she had to rush it.
Day 10, December 29th, my parents came over and had my sister on their phone. The kids watch the clock till 5:00pm and asked every minute afterwards "When are they going to call?". About 5:30pm is when we got the call!! And were told we could meet him at 11:15am the next morning.
We didn't know this at the time, but during those ten days of waiting, Kolby was in a neighborhood near us, that we would pass a few times a week, sometimes daily.
Chad Bradley Kolby Cribb came home with us about 2:30pm on December 30th, at 13 days old.
He was born December 17, 2016 @ 9:59pm, 8lbs 9oz, and 20.4" long.
And now today at 8 weeks (tomorrow), he is close to 14lbs, 22+" long, and wearing some 6mo clothes.
And now is waking up from his nap... so my break is over... and is this blog.
Turning a new chapter in our book of life. Pictures to come after Finalization.
